Embrace the beauty before you.

7

JANUARY, 2017

Introduction to Astrology
Relationships
Love

In the beginning of every relationship we must forgive.

We must forgive our new partner for not being the exact person we were looking for, and we must forgive ourselves for not being the person we would most like to be for our new love.
Forgiveness is dropping this burden of what was suppose to be. We create stories built upon layers of experiences, dreams, intuitions, intentions, and traumas. Over time our conception of what love is, what will make us happy, what we are attracted to, what will keep us safe, and the ways in which we are capable of providing love and support becomes cemented within us. It is no easy task to let these walls down and simply see the beauty, or even discord standing before us. When we are capable of dropping our hopes, dreams, and assumptions for who someone should be it opens up our ability to love the person who is there. When we drop our hopes, dreams and assumptions about who we want to be, it opens up our ability to fully accept love as we are.

It is true that we often talk of compromise. That we accept this or that because of something else that we love even more. Initial forgiveness is not about compromise. It is counter to compromise. Compromise assumes there is a some list that defines someone. Forgiveness is an acceptance of your vision for someone else is not what is important. It is an acceptance that “perfect” is relative and may take a form you didn’t expect.

Forgiveness in the beginning of a relationship is about dropping that list entirely. Seeing the person as a whole and either embracing that complicated mysterious being in a partnership, or not. We are not shopping for a partner the way one goes to the store. You can’t simply throw physical and personality traits in your cart until you’re satisfied, then note the store was out of this or that trait, but call it good. We are whole individuals, and everything about us is nuanced and interacting. Even something as simple as the concept of being kind changes what it means and how it is expressed in each person differently. Furthermore it is itself developed from their experiences which were molded, in part, by other personality and physical traits.

“We are not shopping for a partner the way one goes to the store. You can’t simply throw physical and personality traits in your cart until you’re satisfied.”

Instead we can simply ask “who is this person who I am attracted to and feel so comfortable with?” “Is this complex, nuanced soul someone who I want to invite into my life in partnership?”

Is there compromise too? Of course. Here is a great question that gets at compromise: “Do we have complementary goals and visions for the future, and complementary ways of living our current lifestyles?”

The person, however, should be accepted and loved for the totality of who they are. Forgive them for not being your dreamed up person, and yourself for not being some dreame up person either. In fact, just being who you are is far more beatiful.

For those interested, astrology is a great avenue for seeing the concept of totality I discuss here. It illustrates the dynamic sequencing that explains why many who are so loving are also indecisive, so stubborn also so stable… and so forth and so on.

So forgive and let go of the dream, and accept the magic standing before you. When you find a kind, loving, exciting new partner you’ll discover the true magic before you is better than you could have ever dreamed up. When you appraoch relationships with this curiosity of how to be the best partner for the unique soul before you, seeing them as they truly are, you may discover that your love and support could be better for them then you imagined.